old geezer April 17, 2009

It’s been awhile since i’ve blogged hasn’t it?  It’s been crazy for lack of better words.  Well…

I’m an old geezer now.  Just took another step closer to the top of the hill, and what a track it’s been.  But i’m not too sad.  Even though it so much easier to feel like a failure, I realized that I’ve accomplished alot in this life of mine.  Who would’ve ever thought I’d…

1.  get married to the most wonderful man ever?  Whose only flaw is his knack for repeating the most ridiculous, catchiest phrases that i catch myself saying “That’s a real motha for ya…” or “They call me the Supaman lover, yeah!”
2. give birth to the most beautifullest thing in this world?  Nikka is the most wonderful gift and I am so thankful that God trusts me to raise her.  She really knows how to push my buttons though.  I’m sure she learned it from me.  So, this must be payback, or something.
3. be a Jack of All trades?  Just into EVERYTHING.  I realized recently that being a Jack of All Trades isn’t so bad.  So, i’m not a master at much, but hey, i’m living the life, learning about myself, my gifts, my weaknesses.  Some people are too scared to step outside the box and try something new.  I thrive off of learning different things.
4. be such an entrepreneur at heart?  Everything I do is a business venture waiting to happen.  Whether it’s singing, photography, teaching, whatever… if you need an idea for a business, you come see me.  And while you’re at it, if you need photos done, you go visit my website at www.karenamor.com and hire me. ( i need money)
5. have my own band?  Speaking of singing, goodness.  I never thought in a million years i’d ever be part of a band.  I’m not even that great of a singer.  It didn’t matter how low or insecure I felt, when i got on stage, i felt like I was on top of the world.  Seriously.  Not too many feelings top that, except  #1 and #2 above. 

Okay, so on paper, it may not look like i’ve accomplished much, but i have my whole life to accomplish whatever I set my heart to.  My point is, I’m living.  I have a chance to live and love of my life, and i’m gonna do it.  So what if i’m an old geezer now… you’re probably older than i am anyways. HA!! 

Have a great day!   Love your life, even if it is a big ol’ mess.   Mine is.  And I love it even more…

Crimson Wave March 12, 2009

I’m having a bad day  Heck, i’m having kind of a rough week actually.  What is up with me?  Anyways, let’s start with today and work backwards and maybe it will all make sense to me…

I’m PMS’ing.  That’s the reason for my emotional wreckage.  The ”crimson wave” came today and took me for a ride (aka Aunt Flo).  Uhh!  I hate this monthly rollercoaster, but i’ve got a handle on it now that I know what ride I just got on.  But honestly, I can’t completely blame the crimson wave for how I’m feeling.  Just the anticipation and not knowing what will happen, alone is what causes most of my turbulence.  I realize my mind can do some pretty serious damage all on its own.

Today  I was tested on my negotiation skills and goodness my stomach started to hurt.  Eck!  I hate conflict, and i know it’s a part of life.  Oh, but be strong Karen!  Suck it up!  So I did… I made a couple of difficult calls today and now that the first one is done, i realized it wasn’t so bad.  I’m going to stay positive and hope my other call will go just as well.  I just don’t like to disappoint others or to make the wrong decision that would mess up someone’s life or career.  It’s no wonder i’m not a doctor or a lawyer.  It’s probably pretty scary that I’m a mom, now that i think about it.

Speaking of being a mommy.  I wasn’t doing so well in that arena either earlier this week .  Instead of spending some quality time with my little girl, I ended up watching  I Love Money 2 instead.  What the heck?!  And by the time I was ready to play with her, she was asleep.  Bad Mommy!  I felt so bad and have been torturing myself since.  The song Cat’s in the Cradle playing though my head.  It’s been a few days now, and i think that I’ve done much better and will continue to do so. 

I know this emotional ”ride” will end soon, and i’ll probably be a wreck until then, but I’m glad that I’m stepping up to the plate and facing my fears head on.  Let’s hope for a better rest of the day…